Resistance—what you resist, persists. Sometimes that quote just plain irritates me. The irritation comes from how simple it is. What isn’t simple is the work involved in NOT resisting. Over time, I’ve come to see resistance as the first step in change, showing up in subtle, persistent ways throughout my journey. Looking back, I see how each pattern I’ve experienced—over-doing, figuring it out, and pushing through—has shaped not only my actions but my understanding of myself.

Over-Doing

I’ve always thrived on movement—physical, emotional, mental. It’s a source of purpose and vitality for me, and neuroscience even backs up how movement supports cognitive processes. For years, action was my go-to response whenever I faced challenges or pain. What I didn’t realize until recently was that my constant drive to stay busy was actually a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions. Pushing myself to ‘do more’ helped me feel in control, but it also kept me from truly noticing what I was feeling.

The turning point came during a coaching session when I felt lost and confused. My coach invited me to simply sit with my feelings rather than rush to fix them. In that pause, I discovered clarity and a new sense of peace. This lesson taught me that rest and reflection are as vital as progress; they help us move forward in healthier, more intentional ways. Now, I’m learning to balance my need for movement with the value of stillness, creating space for deeper self-awareness and acceptance.

Figuring It Out

I’m naturally a strategist, always trying to solve problems—even in the midst of pain or uncertainty. My instinct is to analyze, plan, and find solutions, especially at work where speed and adaptability are prized. But I’ve noticed that this tendency can prevent me from experiencing life as it is, fueling resistance rather than acceptance.

In difficult moments, I’ve realized that trying to ‘figure it out’ was sometimes just another form of avoidance. By focusing on answers, I could sidestep discomfort. However, when I allowed myself to slow down and examine complex feelings or issues without rushing to fix them, I found that stronger, more meaningful strategies emerged. Reflection isn’t just a pause—it’s where wisdom and growth begin.

Push Through

Perseverance, determination, and resilience have helped me overcome countless challenges. For much of my life, pushing through, overthinking, and problem-solving were survival tools. But during the pandemic, my usual coping mechanisms no longer worked. With fewer activities and less control, adding more tasks was impossible; the uncertainty of 2020 made my old strategies feel irrelevant.

This forced pause led me to a deep, sometimes uncomfortable self-reflection. I started observing my feelings and beliefs without judgment or the pressure to find solutions. Being present, either alone or with a friend, opened up unexpected insights and self-discovery. I learned that growth often happens when I stop pushing and start listening—to myself and to what life is offering.

Moving Forward: Retirement and New Challenges

As the world gradually returned to normal, I found myself facing a new transition—retirement—which brought its own set of challenges and familiar patterns. Entering 2024, I noticed my two companions, justification and rationalization, resurfacing. I was once again stuck in resistance, repeating the old habits of over-doing, strategizing about how to use my retirement space (a freedom I hadn’t had for 54 years!), and pushing through the discomfort of this life change.

Reflecting on the past year, I see now that these patterns didn’t just distract me—they shaped my journey, teaching me the ebb and flow of learning, unlearning, and relearning. The lessons of 2020 linger: being present and mindful of my interior space remains a daily commitment. Even now, I catch myself justifying old habits. But each time I pause and ask myself what I’m truly resisting, I uncover another layer of growth—a deeper understanding of what I want to create as I move forward.

In embracing self-inquiry, I trust that answers will come, as they always do. This ongoing process allows me to grow through change, not in spite of it—and to be more present in every new phase of my life.